Durty is Back

So it has been a really long time since I have posted, and now I have a long list of things to talk about so strap in. We are going to touch on all kinds of subjects so enjoy.

First we will start with sports. The NBA pre-season is finally over and the real season has begun. It is pretty much a forgone conclusion that the Lakers and Cavs will be in the finals, and we are going to have to hear about LeBron vs. Kobe for 6 weeks, because that is how long the Finals take to play. However, the rest of the playoffs have been pretty entertaining so far.

Derrick Rose went off in game 1, and that is a flash of what he will hopefully do for the rest of his career, but I don't expect it for the rest of the playoffs. In game 2 though, I wondered out loud when Rajon Rondo became Jordan. The calls against Kirk and Derrick were absolutely ridiculous. 5 fouls in 9 minutes was atrocious. I feel like the refs feel that KG is gone, Pierce is gonna get his, and Jesus Shuttlesworth can no longer drive past an infant on meth, so Rajon has to be the next guy to get calls. Bullshit!

Deron Williams had a great game 2, and the Lakers still had the game in the bag as soon as they walked into the Arena. If you look at the talent that the Jazz have, you have to be really impressed with Jerry Sloan. Carlos Boozer is f-ing terrible, Okur is a poor mans Arvydas Sabonis. Except Okur is 25 years younger than Sabonis was when he played for the Blazers. Kirelenko was good for one season, and the rest of the team is role players. This isn't the NBA of the 90's where all you needed was 2 really good players on your team, and other people who just do one thing well. It's bad enough that Deron has to live in Utah for have the year, but then he has to play with a bunch of scrubs. Put him on Dallas, and the Mavs are in the Finals.

As a Jordan fan, I have a question for the rest of you. What would you least like to see? Kobe winning another championship and the stupid debate to begin, or Lebron winning a championship and that stupid debate to begin? I personally gotta go with Kobe. For some reason everything that Lebron says drives me crazy. He is an idiot who likes to speak like he is smart. In his post game interview, he was asked if his team got "complacent" Here is the video.



One of 3 things needs to happen:
1) Somebody gets him a dictionary
2) He needs to go to Junior College for a Semester
3) He cannot be asked questions that include words that are longer than 6 letters

I will have more after the games on Thursday

Now on to baseball

As a Cubs fan I feel like I can say this with a bit of legitimacy...... I f-ing hate Cubs fans!!! Every person between the ages of 18-35 feels like it is their god given right to be a complete asshole during and 4 hours after a cubs game. I am starting to jump on the Cardinals/Sox bandwagon in that these douchbags need to realize that the Cubs haven't won shit in over a century. Hell I think even France has won a war in that time period. And riddle me this. How do people get so damn drunk at a game? If you have a beer an inning, that is 9 beers, spread over 3 hours. It makes no sense. I think the actual reason that our economy is so terrible right now is because of irresponsible Cubs fans spending 150 dollars on beer during a game, and then defaulting on their mortgage.

So everyone is back on the Kosuke Fukudome bandwagon. I am starting to as well, but I unlike everyone else on the north side have a memory that stretches longer than 3 months. He had a great April last year too, only to shit the bed when we needed him most. Every time he swings at a low and away slider worse than I would, I forget everything great he has done so far and immediately search for something cheap and replaceable to break.

Derrek Lee is garbage. That's right I said it. If there was ever a player made to play at US Cellular field it is Derrek Lee. No one hits a ball 340 feet like Derrek. I had a conversation with a buddy the other day about my ideal Cubs line-up, based solely on being ideal, and here it is.

1. The Riot
2. Fukudome
3. Soriano
4. Aramis
5. Bradley
6. Soto
7. Lee
8. Fontenot

Last year Lee was 17th in at bats and hits. He was 23rd in doubles, 84th in Home Runs and 41st in RBIs and 30th in total bases. Some notable names ahead of him in RBI's who also play first base. A steroid free Jason Giambi, Mike Jacobs, and Ryan Garko. And they all did it in 100 less at bats. He needs to be moved down in the line up soon. We can move him back in June when he catches fire to make his numbers respectable for the season.

Maybe Sox fans can explain to me how Neal Cotts still has a major league job? I'm sure all of you remember when Albert Pujols absolutely crushed Brad Lidge's fastball, soul and confidence with one swing in the playoffs a few years ago. Well 3 seconds after that ball landed in Oklahoma and Lidge blew the save, I still had more faith in him than I do right now in Neal Cotts. Fans boo, nuns weep, and infants wail as soon as Neal starts warming up in the bullpen.

If you are not a fan an NL central team, would you be able to name anyone other than Albert Pujols for the Cardinals? And yet, they are really good as always, and have a more impressive and intimidating outfield than most of baseball. If you are a Cubs fan, you can breath a sigh of relief that Chris Carpenter got hurt because he looked real good. And if you are a Cardinals fan, I feel bad for you, but at the same time, you have won without him.

Does anyone think that in our lifetime we will see the Texas Rangers have a good pitching staff to go along with their amazing lineup? How hard is this to figure out? Every year, Texas has hitters putting up monster numbers, and their ERA is higher than the unemployment rate.

And the only thing that I have about the NFL Draft is this: The thing I love most about the draft is that it gives me new ideas for nicknames for friends. Hence the reason Cronin is Pac-Man. I have a few people that I want to mention on here more often, but I haven't because we don't have a good name for them. Well my friends look no further than Chris Berman during the draft. I feel that Chris Berman is that Carrot Top of sports broadcasting now. His shtick was never that good, yet for some reason he is still around, and they both are getting bigger as they get older. Anyways, by about the middle of the 3rd round when nobody other than Todd McShay has any clue who is getting drafted, Berman steps up to the plate like the aforementioned Albert Pujols vs. Brad Lidge. This is the best of the worst that ESPN has to offer. Take a drink every time Berman says a nickname and see if you can make it to the Bears first pick at #49 without having to have your stomach pumped.

Now on to television

My television watching pretty much revolves around these shows: The Office, 30 Rock, South Park, Scrubs, Fantasy Factory, Nitro Circus and whatever is great on HBO at the time.

Lets start with Fantasy Factory and Nitro Circus. Both of these shows are on MTV on Sunday nights, and both are amazing. Nitro Circus is the better of the two just because 10 people do ridiculous stunts that no one in their right mind would ever even think of doing. It is basically like Jackass but without the attempt at humor, and with much more physical talent. Backflipping tricycles doesn't sound that entertaining until you watch 5 people about break their necks trying it.

30 Rock just keeps on getting better. Shows like this have staying power though, because you can have complete episodes that have nothing to do with the overall plot and storyline of the show. For the last 2 plus seasons, the only recurring story line is that Jack was trying to become the head of GE, Liz wanted to have a baby, and Tracy is batshit crazy. Yet every week , they come up with amazing stories. I think my favorite so far was when they Jack hired interns that got fired for Merrill Lynch and Tracy was partying with them. Subtle, yet absolutely hysterical because we all know douche bags like these guys. If you are not watching this show, you need to start soon. There is a reason why it wins best comedy every year.

Scrubs should have never come back. They did an entire episode without Dr. Cox, Dr. Kelso, the janitor, and JD and it was the most worthless 30 minutes of television I have ever seen. Also the women on the show are worthless except for Jordan. Elliot is so annoying it sickens me, plus they have her play a bitch sometimes, so basically she is the unstable girlfriend that everyone hates and begs their buddy to break up with. Carla is only a bitch, bossy, and whinny at times. In the 7 seasons that the show has been on, I cannot remember ever laughing at anything she says. The best part about this season was the Indian guy who everyone says I look like. Which brings me to..

Parks and Recreation. This show is also terrible, except for the Indian guy. You can't rip off the character of Michael in The Office and make another show just like it. It is the exact same show, except Amy Pholer can't pull it off. It's sad because this show had so much potential. What they should have done was have the main character be like Dwight from The Office, but he is in charge instead of being a subordinate. That would have at least been different enough to be interesting.

And Finally South Park. This show is still amazing, and seems like it has actually gotten better in the last 3 years. The pirates episode was great tonight, and I feel like half the time I only go to CNN.com to see what is in the news to figure out what the next episode will be. While the Simpsons and Family Guy have pretty much run out of things to do episodes on, South Park probably never will. If you have never seen the 2 episodes where South Park makes fun of Family Guy, I highly recommend them. They are absolutely amazing, and you will probably never be able to laugh at Family guy again. Here is a link to them:

Cartoon Wars 1
Cartoon Wars 2