CHICAGO IS BASEBALL CITY!!!

Congrats to the White Sox on their big win tonight against the Twins, thanks for keeping hope for a Red Line World Series alive!!!

NCAA Football 2009 Predictions

While perusing ESPN.com today I came across their weekly NCAA Football 2009 prediction page, where ESPN simulates the week's games using the aforementioned video game, and posts the results and statistics. According to the simulation, Penn State will beat Illinois 32-29. Here is the link.

http://sports.espn.go.com/videogames/simulation/ncf?id=3607778

Well, since the game missed so badly on the Trojans v. Beavers game last night (35-14), on a related note, I was surprised by how hostile the crowd was last night, I thought Beavers loved Trojans, or maybe it's Trojans love Beavers (drum roll please)... but I digress, since the game missed so badly, I thought that I'd put my own copy of the game and my playing skills to the test in a little weekly feature that we'll call DurtyButter plays NCAA Football 2009 to predict the winner, and here is this week's results and statistics...

Illini 70 - Penn State 7

Statistics:

Passing:
Juice Williams 20-22, 358 yds, 5 tds, 0 ints (playing 3 quarters)
Eddie McGee 7-10, 120 yds, 1 td, 0 ints

Rushing:
Juice Williams 10-97, 2 tds
Eddie McGee 3-20
Daniel Dufrene 9-100, 1td
Jason Ford 5-40, 1td

Receiving:
Arrelious Benn 8-232, 3tds
Will Judson 4-41, 1td
Chris Duvalt 3-50
Daniel DuFrene 4-90, 1td
Jason Ford 3-20
Michael Hoomanawanui 5-45, 1td

Defensive Stand Outs:
Vontae Davis 7 tkls (2 for loss), 2 ints
Martez Wilson 2 sacks
Will Davis 10 tkls (3 for loss), 1 sack

So, as you can see, the Illini should feel pretty good about the game this weekend because I'm pretty sure that this is a pretty scientific test of the actual matchup.

Roger Powell Signs with Bulls

Roger just signed with the Bulls for training camp. Some are joking that this is so that he can play in the Assembly Hall game against the Jazz and Deron. Good luck to Roger on making the team.

They also signed Darius Washington. You will remember him from the Confernce USA title game a few years ago, when Memphis had to win in order to make the tourney. Washington was fouled at the end of the game, and promptly missed 2 of the 3 free throws he had, so instead of tying or winning the game, Memphis lost by one. Suck it Calipari.

http://www.nba.com/bulls/news/camp_080915.html

After the first free throw he turns to his bench and supposedly says "it's over", but you can't see anything

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-cqlbqJFWM&feature=related

We've Started a Trend

First Durty Butter dove head first into the wonderful world of blogging, now so has Lil Wayne. I really can't figure out which is more surprising; that Lil Wayne is writing a blog for ESPN, that it is actually coherent, that he is a Green Bay Packers fan, or that he threw a party for the Wimbledon Final this year? Did I mention that Lil Wayne has a sports blog on ESPN? We at Durty Butter promise to match, if not exceed, the extremely high level of blogging that Lil Wayne is bound to produce. Wobble Wobble...... then drop it like its hot!

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3607474

Illini vs Penn State

So the night is almost upon us. Penn State, and their recently reinstated 1-2 criminal punch on defense will host our beloved Illini. Before we delve into our synopsis, can we first mention that Joe Pa saying that the 2 suspended players would play Saturday is like saying "tomorrow we will have weather." Not many people (especially Vegas and gamblers, who have pushed a 14.5 point spread to 16.5) are giving coach Zook and the illini a chance in this game. Here is why we at Durty Butter feel Illinois can win.

1) Illini have had 2 weeks to prepare - Having an off week helped out in numerous ways. First and foremost it allowed injured players time to recover. Many Illini fans have heard about Donsay Hardemann. We have heard that before coming to Illinois, Donsay was not allowed to hit in practice because he injured too many teammates and similar stories. He was in competition for a starting spot at safety, and now we will get to see him in action. Josh Brent got some reps at DT and Cumberland got some at WR so having them back is also a plus adds depth at both positions.

Hopefully the coaches were able to correct some mistakes during an extra week of practice. When having only 4 days, you are more concerned with the next opponent rather than fundamental flaws of your team. Being given 2 weeks allows you to not only game plan, but also work on technique.

2) Defensive Line is healthy - Coming into the season our defensive line was considered to be our strong point, but injuries to Josh Brent and season ending surgery to Sirod Williams changed that. Now with Brent back, it moves Will Davis back to DE, and Corey Luiget is proving why he was one of the most heavily recruited DT's last year. Having all of these guys healthy allows, us to rotate 7-9 guys so people stay fresh, it allows for a better pass rush, and more importantly keeps blockers off our linebackers and safeties. In the ULL game you saw a much better push by our front four, which allowed Miller and Tez to flow to the ball and make good stops.

3) Well Balanced Offense - Illinois has led the Big Ten in rushing the last 2 years with Juice at quarterback. This season we still have a solid running attack, using Juice, Dufrene, Rejus, LeShoure, Ford, and Pollard in the backfield. However, now Juice is throwing better. He isn't great, but he is throwing at a level that does not allow teams to stack the box looking for the run. Teams will not be as susceptible to play action like OSU was last year, but teams will have more pressure on them to stop both. Add on to this a much better receiving corps, and this offense has many more weapons than we have had recently. Look for the Illini to get the ball to Rejus a lot, and also for Juice to find Uh-Oh open at TE. Lastly, you have Juices ability to scramble, which causes teams to use a linebacker or safety to spy.

4) Games played - Illinois already had to face Mizzou in a hostile environment. Durty Butter was there, and there was no way that the make up of the fans was 50-50, it was 65-35 at best. Penn State has not had to face a team like that yet. We all now that Oregon State was blown out by Penn State, and then turned around and beat #1 USC. We don't like using the transitive property when it comes to sports, which if were used now would mean that Penn State should be playing Stanford for the NC. Instead I feel that the Illini get an edge because they had to fight back into a game that they were down big. They could have easily rolled over, but they didn't. Also they had to win a close game, and put together a scoring drive late when the offense had clearly taken the week off. They have gained experience in different game situations that is very valuable.

5) Big time Players - On both sides of the ball we have players who have played in big games, and have showed up to play. Vontae Davis, Juice Williams, Rejus Benn, Daniel Dufrene, Britt Miller, both the offensive and defensive lines. These guys beat #5 Wisconsin last year, and beat #1 Ohio State, they have made big plays in big games. They have both won and lost on large stages, so they know what it is like, and they shouldn't be awestruck in this game.

Again this is all kool-aide driven, biased analysis. But based on what I have said above, we should at least cover.

To get you excited watch this:

The Rejus Benn Show: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bb5PnQzM7uI

USC Does it Again!! Let the BCS vs. Playoff Talks Begin

For the third year in a row we have heard about how amazing USC is. Every year, they reload at each position, namely because they had 5 first-round picks leave early for the NFL. We hear about the next amazing quarterback who is gonna go to the NFL so he can get benched for the likes of Kurt "paper or plastic" Warner. And now for the third straight year we are going to have to listen to USC fans, and Pete Carrol bitch at the end of the season about how they should be in the National Championship game.

How do you lose to Oregon State? Obviously the same way you lost to them two years ago, and Stanford last year. The entire offense and defense of USC did not show up for that game at all. Oregon State beat them with a true freshman running back who is 5'6" 180 Ilbs. Since USC lost so early though, they have a good chance of making the National Championship game because the 2 best conferences have too many good teams. Its not fair that a team can lose to a meatball like Oregon State and still make the NC game but here is why they will.

3 reasons that the National Championship might be Big 10 vs. Pac-10.

1) It actually helps that the Pac-10 is garbage, and there are only 2-3 legit teams in the Big-10. USC will most likely rebound from this game and beat the shit out of everyone else in the Pac-10 so the will end up with one loss. Wisconsin and Penn State still have a chance to run the table and go undefeated.

2) No conference championship game means one less difficult game for the Pac-10 and Big-10, so while the SEC's and Big-12's best teams are beating up on each other again, USC and the Big-10 champ are either at home resting or playing cupcakes.

3) Late season losses hurt BCS rankings much more than early season. Mizzou lost only 2 games last year, both of them to Oklahoma, and one in the Big-12 championship game, and they didn't get invited to a BCS game. Ohio State lost to the Illini on Nov. 10th, and then just sat back and let everyone else lose and walked into the NC game. Big 10 finishes 2 weeks before everyone else if you count championship games.

The way a one loss USC and a Big 10 team don't make the NC is if an SEC or Big 12 team lose less than 2 games. You decide if you think that is possible.

SEC

LSU (3-0)
LSU has already beat Auburn, but they are still looking for a quarterback. They have a red-shirt freshman and a transfer from the ivy league.

Still have to play @ #4 Florida and have #3 Georgia and #8 Alabama at home.

Georgia (4-0)
Have an unbelievable running back in Knowshon Moreno, and a solid quarter back in Matthew Stafford. This week will be huge as the host #8 Alabama

Still have to play #8 Alabama, @ #5 LSU, #4 Florida, @ #15 Auburn

Florida (3-0)
Florida has the easiest road to the SEC Championship game, and also have Tim Tebow at quarterback even though he isn't having the Heisman year he had last year.

Still have to play #5 LSU, @ #3 Georgia

Alabama (4-0)
Don't have all of the big name players that all of the other SEC contenders have, but Saban has a good, talented team. John Parker Wilson is a good quaterback, and is famous for being the older brother of Ross Wilson from the greatest reality show ever Two-A-Days. This weekends showdown with #3 Georgia will decide whether or not Bama will be a contender in the SEC

Still have to play @ #3 Georgia, @ #5 LSU, #15 Auburn

Georgia really gets the shaft as far as schedules go, so unless they can work some magic, they will not play in the SEC championship game. Florida will most likely win the SEC East, LSU has already beaten Auburn, but it is way to early to decide who will come out of the SEC West, look for either LSU or Alabama.

BIG 12

Missouri (4-0)

I think they have the best offense in college football. 2 Heisman candidates in Daniels at QB and Maclin everywhere else on the field. Big 12 North is not as good as the south, but Colorado is showing some life.

Still have to play @ #7 Texas, Colorado and #18 Kansas

Texas (3-0)

Colt McCoy is having a great year, completing almost 80% of his passes and has 13 total touchdowns. Playing Arkansas this week in a make-up game, but football karma is screwing Bobby Petrino, so Texas should roll. Toughest schedule for any Big 12 team in conference

Still have to play @ Colorado, @ #2 Oklahoma, #6Mizzou, @ #10 Texas Tech, @ #18 Kansas


Oklahoma (3-0)

Sam Bradford is probably the best young QB in football, Oklahoma is scoring over 50 points a game, and Bob Stoops is a great coach and always has Oklahoma in the National Championship hunt.

Still have to play # 24 TCU, #7 Texas, #18 Kansas, @ #10 Texas Tech

Texas Tech (4-0)

Great offense with Graham Harrell at QB who has already thrown for 1500 yards and probably the best receiver in college, Michael Crabtree.

Still have to play @ #18 Kansas, #7 Texas, @ #2 Oklahoma

Mizzou should walk away with the North for sure, and I don't think that anyone except for Texas will challenge Oklahoma for the south. Texas Tech is not in the same class as the other 3. Texas going to Oklahoma on November 12th will be one of the best games of the year. Look for a Oklahoma-Mizzou Big-12 championship game.

Look out for one of the following teams: South Florida, UConn, Wake Forest, and Utah in BCS talks at the end of the year, and also whine about why they should be in the NC game. Most likely though, if USC wins out and OSU, Wisco, or Penn State only have one loss, it will be Big-10 vs. Pac-10. (If the Illini beat Penn State and Wisco, then they will be in the NC game..... true story!)

Good reads for the day

Somewhere Carlos Zambrano is punching something and swearing in Spanish.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3609601

Illini's future quarterback talks about recruiting and stuff.

http://www.illinihq.com/news/football/2008/09/25/nathan_scheelhaase_qa/

Not a read, but this is an amazing catch. Not as good as Prothro's but still good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiog29PrnlA

Interview with Martez Wilson, illini WLB.

http://media.www.dailyillini.com/media/storage/paper736/news/2008/09/25/Sports/Martez.Wilson.Wants.To.Open.Convenience.Stores-3451335.shtml

Weekend Picks

Welcome back to Durty Butter's Weekend Picks. For the record we were 4-1 last weekend. Big Ten season starts so good games to pick. The goal for the year is to go 75%. Not to prove our infinite knowledge of college football, we will go 75% to pay the rent.

Illinois (+15) vs Penn State - Penn State is 4-0, and does average over 50 points a game, and have won by an average margin of about 42 points. I think this is when Vegas stopped reading. They beat Oregon State, Temple, and Syracuse who are ranked 69, 92, and 107 respectively in the CBSsportsline poll. That is out of 120 teams. The fourth was Coastal Carolina. Now I understand that Illinois did not look great against ULL in their last game, and they gave up points against Eastern Illinois. Against Eastern, the Illini were up 40-7 in the fourth, and just like ULL, they gave up points with their 2nd and 3rd string defenses playing.
People seem to forget that we fought back against Mizzou to lose by 10, and Penn State is no Mizzou. They are more balanced on offense, but not as good. Really good defense when they are not in jail. The illini will have the starting DL intact for this game, and Donsay Hardemann will finally play at safety. Not to mention they had 2 weeks to prepare.
Do we think Illinois will win? Yes. Is this because we are total homers? Absolutely. That being said, we don't think that there is anyway that Penn State wins by more than 2 touchdowns as responsible gamblers.

Ohio State (-18.5) vs. Minnesota - Bennie is back, Pryor looks like a pretty good quarterback, and oh yeah its Minnesota! They have a horrible defense, offense looks better, and by better that means they have a quaterback and one good receiver. OSU will roll Minnesota by at least 20, probably closer to 40.

Purdue (pick) vs. Notre Dame - When will people realize that Charlie Weis and more importantly Jimmy Clausen suck? Purdue still has a good offense that can put up a lot of points. Notre Dame has one of the best recruited offenses that can still turn the ball over. Wanna get drunk? Take a drink every time Clausen launches the ball deep on play action into double coverage, take a shot every time it is overthrown by 5 yards, take 2 shots every time its picked. You will be asleep by halftime, which coincidentally is about when this game should be over.

Wisconsin (-6.5) vs. Michigan - Both teams had off weeks last week, so that gives Dick Rod time to teach his pro-style players to run the spread offense. Maybe he is also teaching his team how to field punts and not fumble 7 times. PJ Hill will get back on track and this should be an easy cover.

Auburn (-7) vs. Tennessee - Tennessee is struggling to hold its season together at 1-2, and Auburn looked real good against LSU. People think that this would be a let down game for Auburn, but I think let down games are bullshit. In the SEC you don't have let down games, because every team hates everyone else. I don't see UT scoring more than 13 points, and look for Auburn's defense to score in this game as well.

If you don't want to bet these games straight up, tease them.
Illinois +21 vs Penn State
OSU -12.5 vs Minnesota
Purdue +6 vs. Notre Dame
Wisco -.5 vs Michigan
Auburn -1 vs Tennessee

Bruce - Offer this kid a scholarship for 2018

I just watched this story, it's going to be featured on ESPN's Outside the Lines.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/otl/marquise

It's a pretty amazing story about the kid who's been called "The #1 Kindergartner in the Country." I love watching stories like this because they're fun to follow. Perhaps this Dad should do a google search of Todd Marinovich, but to contradict myself, I assume anyone could rebut that statement with "Tiger Woods...scoreboard." Regardless, this is pretty cool and there are too many youtube videos of this kid to post. Take a look at them, you know how to use the interweb, look them up yourself.

Good Reads For The Day

Here are some good articles from the past few days.

First we have a great article telling us why we should not expect Indiana to get punished at all for hiring a convicted cheater, and then creating an environment in which he could cheat again.

http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/football/news?slug=dw-ncaacheating092308&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

Next we have an article by John Supinie who is a great illini writer, not a lot of opinions, just quotes, stats and info. He gives you the facts, Durty Butter give you the biased opinions.

http://www.pjstar.com/sports_college/x418860627/Supinie-Underdog-role-just-fine-for-Illini

Deadspin tells us exactly how (and more importantly with whom) Alfonso Soriano is celebrating the cubs recent Central Division Pennant with. Apparently bartenders aren't as discrete as strippers.

http://deadspin.com/5053163/getting-to-know-alfonso-sorianos-alleged-road-beef


Paul Klee does a weekly chat on Wednesdays about Illini Basketball. Always has good info about future recruits and current workouts and pick-up games.

http://www.illinihq.com/chats/2008/09/24/illinois_basketball_chat__pm_wednesday

Coming soon:

Our utter disappointment that Matt Millen is not going to be ruining the Detroit Lions anymore, while simultaneously providing days of entertainment with horrible draft day decisions.

Explaining why instead of a 700 billion dollar bail out, the US Government should bet 700 billion on Illinois covering a 15 (thats right 15!!) point spread against Penn State saturday.

Attempting to determine who thought it was a good idea to give Linda Cohn a book deal, who will actually read it, and of course, WHY GOD? WHY?

Breaking completely unforseen, not in a million years, earth-shattering news... Clay Aiken is gay!!!

Now I realize that what I'm about to speak of has little to do with sports, unless of course you consider male anal sex a sport, but when I woke up this morning, I was greeted with this little nugget in my email account... "Clay Aiken: I'm a Gay Dad."

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20228488,00.html

Really? You're gay? Really? You, the absolute poster boy for staunch heterosexuality? I don't know how to take this. If you're gay, then what in the hell am I supposed to believe in. Who's next? Jerry McGuire and Mission Impossible lead actor Tom Cruise? N'Sync Bad Boy Lance Bass? Little Richard?

Now come on, is this news? I didn't know you had to come out and announce things that everyone knows. It would be like Carlos Zambrano announcing that he's slightly unstable, or Albert Pujols telling the world at a press conference that he's in his mid-30's.

Come on Clay, we didn't need this story, leave the cover of gossip magazines for imploding starlets so guys like us can start fantasizing about the inevitable spread in Playboy.

Nice work Google

Well, it seems as though Durty Butter has been picked up by Google, and I hear that we've become the #1 site where Juice gets his Illini information. Juice, of course, being A. Hitz, not the esteemed Illini QB Isiah John Williams. Baby steps.

Things that make me laugh

This is off the topic of sports, but i think that red band trailers are probably the coolest thing ever. Now if only HBO will go for our uncensored Sportscenter idea, we will be made in the shade. Here are 2 Redband trailers that are for upcoming movies, and also one of the funniest Funny or Die movies ever. All of them have a ton of swearing.

Sex Drive - Looks pretty funny, plus cyclops is in it.

http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/sex-drive/red-band-trailer

Role Models - Greatest ens amble cast ever. Stiffler, Brian Fantana, the lesbian dog trainer from best in show, and McLovin. This is like a Woody Allen movie, only people will actually want to watch this movie, and then laugh while they are watching it.

http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/role-models/red-band-trailer

And Finally Everyday Normal Guy Rap - Hilarious rap, the second one is also really funny.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/c4a43aff11

Great Football Moments

Here are some clips that show why football is so damn awesome.

The Business
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TTGZJlZpyc

Knowshon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3Yur-46blE&feature=related

Vontae hitting a nerd
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfhmL-4F31Q

Hester in College
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hq7ZKstdBtk&feature=related

Sean Taylor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v0MwtO_Sdc&feature=related

Greatest Catch ever
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2ikUyrOhkg

Weekend Picks

So for a Saturday that does not include Illini football, i haven't really paid too much attention this week. So here are 5 college picks based on no research, pure gut ( u can expect a lot of this):

Pittsburgh (PK) over Iowa - just because somebody has to win right?? Game is at Pittsburgh, Iowa has a quarterback controversy with 2 quarterbacks that nobody else would want. I also picked this because over the years Wannie has lost me so much money, that I almost want to blame him for me being home on a Friday night Blogging. He has to pay off sometime

Michigan State (-9.5) over Notre Dame - Javon Ringer could actually rush for 1000 yards in this game. State will not fumble 7 times, including 2 inside the 20 for the douches. On a side note, don't people have enough ammo against Jimmy Clausen, so why have that hair cut? Whenever he takes his helmet off I feel like he should be wearing a skinny tie, standing behind a synthesizer in a bad 80's euro-pop video. Clausen's hair alone pushed this line from (-6) out of pure hatred.

Fresno State (-7) over Toledo - Doesn't it feel like there are way too many colleges in Ohio? If pretty much everyone from there goes to OSU, does that mean that people are actually coming to OHIO from out of state? Fresno is a good team, should be easy cover.

Boise State (+10.5) over Oregon - I know I always love the Ducks, but I am partial to Boise "fuck that blue turf bullshit" State. Oregon loses there starting QB again this year, but they don't have a Jonathan Stewart to ride.

LSU (-3) over Auburn - I just want a good game in primetime this week, I like LSU, I feel like this is the team that Zook is praying to put together with speed everywhere. I think there longsnapper ran a 4.5 in high school.


Random thoughts:

My mom is in India and I tried to call her today, I think I am still dialing. Her phone number was 011 988 72 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B,A 62. Did they give all 1 billion Indians cell phones? This is why indian kids are so good with numbers, because they have to remember 27 just to call home.

I really want there to be another pro athlete named D'Brickashaw. Just so we have to specify which one we are talking about. "D'Brickashaw played a great game lastnight." to which the reply would be "Which D'Brickashaw?"

Why do people in the 2nd inning ask if seats are taken in the Bleachers when there is clearly 1000 people standing behind them? "No asshole, we were actually saving these seats for you and your spikey haired friend so you could take your shirts off and talk on your cell phone all game." There were actually only 7 cubs fans in the bleachers today who heard the crack in the universe today that occurred when Adam Kennedy hit a Grand Slam in the 1st.

Does anyone still have friends named Pookey, and Ray-Ray and them? Didn't think so. Time to actually be creative Stuart Scott.

Shirtless White Guys

As a Cardinal fan, I thoroughly enjoyed today's game (albeit I feel that Big Z and the Cubs were sandbagging so they can celebrate tomorrow). I'm not going to tell anyone that I had a bad time today, but I am amazed at how many Cubs fans feel that shirtless beers = being a real fan. Why does no shirt = fan? I have never understood, and probably never will, regardless, here's a link to how America respects the Cub fan. http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/27/30-wrigley-field/

We Have Arrived!!!

Welcome to the Interweb version of sitting at Butter's and drinking beers!! You all can look forward to Chris and I blogging about meaningless things that hopefully will give you all a little break while you slave away making doughnuts for the man. (we will both be asleep due to unemployment) In between breaks from trying to unlock characters on Mario Kart Wii and getting the perfect recruiting class on NCAA football 2009, we hope to impart knowledge from our adventures. These adventures will include what Douche Bags we saw in Wrigleyville while drinking selects at Trace, and our on going struggle to win the lotto.

Now down to business, as responsible bloggers we would like to make the following 10 pledges to our loyal readers:

1. We promise to post interesting topics based on little to no actual credible information.
2. We promise to give you breaking information on new video games because you d-bags will be too busy at work to actually get a chance to play/enjoy them.
3. We promise to post our daily EARLY AFTERNOON golf scores from the travesty that is the Sydney Marovitz golf course (we can't afford the golf courses you guys play on weekends).
4. We promise to update our readers on Karm's 10 year progress towards obtaining the educational background necessary to start a career.
5. We promise to overanalyze and underscrutinize Illinois sports to give you all hope for a yearly national championship/final four run including improbable 5 star recruting chases and overhyping the 3 stars that actually sign.
6. We promise that title IX will not play any role in the opinions and postings on this blog, unless Erin Andrews qualifies as an athlete under title IX.
7. We promise to be completely biased towards the midwest except for: any non-Illinois Big Ten School, Notre Dame, and any baseball team that does not start with Chicago or St. Louis.
8. We promise not to post before noon or after 5AM.
9. We promise that at times we will probably become lazy and forget to post (by forget we mean that we're too tired from playing golf, video games, and enjoying frosty cold Selects).
10. We pledge to entertain our faithful followers through witty banter, and promise to reply to equally witty commentary, however, since equally witty does not exist, do not expect a response.

Welcome

Welcome to the new best thing in the blogosphere, straight from two unemployed overlyeducated sports fans.