Breaking completely unforseen, not in a million years, earth-shattering news... Clay Aiken is gay!!!

Now I realize that what I'm about to speak of has little to do with sports, unless of course you consider male anal sex a sport, but when I woke up this morning, I was greeted with this little nugget in my email account... "Clay Aiken: I'm a Gay Dad."

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20228488,00.html

Really? You're gay? Really? You, the absolute poster boy for staunch heterosexuality? I don't know how to take this. If you're gay, then what in the hell am I supposed to believe in. Who's next? Jerry McGuire and Mission Impossible lead actor Tom Cruise? N'Sync Bad Boy Lance Bass? Little Richard?

Now come on, is this news? I didn't know you had to come out and announce things that everyone knows. It would be like Carlos Zambrano announcing that he's slightly unstable, or Albert Pujols telling the world at a press conference that he's in his mid-30's.

Come on Clay, we didn't need this story, leave the cover of gossip magazines for imploding starlets so guys like us can start fantasizing about the inevitable spread in Playboy.