Durty Bracket Update

Now that we are past the first weekend, there are officially 7 people in the country that still care about their bracket. Here is our update going into the Sweet Sixteen

1) DiscoStu
2) Soon to be Mrs. Webb
3) Anal Roberts

First if Disco actually wins this bracket than that will mean that I can officially stop following college basketball. I don't want to partake in following a sport that allows Bill Self to win back to back championships. In hindsight we should have assumed that there would be a global economic meltdown after Kansas won their first title. If they win a second title, then I implore everyone to move to the wilderness, because Armageddon is just around the corner. Normally I would bash anyone who picked Kansas and call them many terrible names, but Disco is much bigger than I am, and it has taken me 5 years to breath properly after receiving multiple "jack hammers" to the chest in college.

Soon to be Mrs. Webb is still hanging around even though there is no money involved. Michigan State in the National Championship game might be the downfall of this bracket. However if they do make it, then Cara will most likely win. That win will come at a cost though, as not only will she not be invited back next year, but we will most likely ban all women.

And now to my favorite: Anal Roberts. Leave it to Guymon to have one of the better names out there. The reason that this is my favorite is because when he used this name 2 years ago, I got a phone call from my sister asking me "what the shit is Anal Roberts?" Apparently my brother-in-law loved this name so much that his bracket revolved around beating Anal Roberts. For 3 weeks all he could talk about was Anal Robert's picks, and whether or not he would beat him. My sister was not a fan. I personally am hoping for this win so that when I go to my niece's 2nd birthday in May, Kinney and my sister can explain to my mother why her granddaughter's first words are "Anal Roberts".

Thoughts so far

- There were at so many teasing upsets that didn't happen it was sickening. Pitt, Villanova, and Louisville all played like crap for 36 minutes, and then pulled out their games.

- Pretty much every good coach in the last 15 years is in the Sweet Sixteen. Coach K, Roy Williams, John Calhoun, Jim Boehiem, Tom Izzo, Bill Self, Rick Pitino, John Calipari (it kills me to put him in that list). Will Mark Few or Jamie Dixon make the jump to that level this year?

- I hope most of you caught the Ohio State and Wisconsin overtime games because they were awesome. Every time I tried to root for OSU, I got a picture of BJ Mullins hanging out with Matt Sylvester in my head and started cheering for Siena.

- This might just be a knee-jerk reaction to Illinois losing, but I think Gus Johnson is a little over the top this year. Either that or he is going into Meltdown mode a little too early. Gus starts screaming with 7 minutes left in the game now. After watching a basketball game for exactly an hour and a half, Gus loses his volume control. I'm worried that he is not gonna have enough left in the tank to call a buzzer beater. Gus might be the first announcer that will need a sub during a game. Either way, he makes any sport he is announcing that much better. He should have his own reality show where he travels the world and challenges random sportscasters to see who is better. Put Gus head to head with the ESPN Deportes guys to do a Mexico vs. Brazil soccer match, now that is reality T.V.

-I have just created my dream team for an announcing crew. Gus handling the play by play, Brent Musberger as the 2 man, and Charles Barkley as the expert. If the game is great, Gus can go crazy as usual, and if the game sucks, the Brent and Chuck can try to one up each other with drunk Vegas stories. This is how I see it going down.

Gus: "AND IT LOOKS LIKE MICHIGAN STATE WILL HOLD ON TO BEAT KANSAS 75 TO 63." (this is in Caps because Gus is screaming this)
Brent: "Well pardner (to chuck), I haven't had this much fun in a long time."
Chuck: "Yeah the last time I had this much fun was 2 weeks ago when I won $100,000 at the Mirage sportsbook betting the over on Syracuse and UCONN."
Brent: " Oh boy, I bet the guys who bet the under were pretty upset about that one? I know Jack Arute would have been, isn't that right Jack?" (now you get the Erin Andrews voice over)
Erin: "Umm Brent, Jack Arute was fired a long time ago, I have been doing the sideline reporting with you for 3 years."
Chuck: "Not everyone, Michael was to busy losing his share in the Charlotte Bobcats at the craps table to care about the $500,000 he just lost on a college basketball game. God damn does that guy love to gamble!" ITS TRRBLE!! "I think he won a girl who looks like that sideline girl in a poker game at the Bellagio once." "What's her name?"
Brent: "Ha Ha! Charles my man, that is fantastic." "Well Folks! That's all we have tonight. For Charles Barkely, Steve Lavin, Kirk Herbstreit, and Jack Arute, I'm Brent Musberger. Have a great night."
Gus: (Catatonic and paramedics are trying to give him oxygen)

Sports would cease to exist as we know it after these three did a game together. Nothing couuld top this. Gus just being Gus, Musberger drunk and living it up with Barkley, and Barkley hitting on Erin Andrews. I dare you to try and come up with better broadcasting scenerio!!

For those of you who have never heard of, or played the Musberger drinking game, this is it. It needs to be updated a little bit, but it makes college football even better.