Durty Thoughts

It isn't weekly like I thought it would be, but here we go again.

- I don't want to hear anymore about Tiger Woods. I don't think I can take it. I was almost sick to my stomach yesterday morning when the reports came out that someone was taken out of his house in an ambulance. These stories are reserved for the likes of Lindsey Lohan, not Tiger. It is sad to see someone who you respect have their life unravel before your very eyes. 2 Things are interesting about this. First does Michael Jordan's career and image turn out the same if he played during an era where the Internet is so prevalent? And second, will there ever be any accountability for a lot of these websites? 90% of the rumors you read on the Internet aren't true, yet does it matter when it seems that no one can be sued for liable? Radar Online reported that Tiger's wife had moved out, another website claimed that Tiger was paying everyone over 7 figures to keep them quiet, and now Tiger has sex with 2 porn stars? And I also don't believe the whole Ambien story. I took an Ambien once to try and win a bet. The bet was to see who could stand the longest, and then who could stay awake the longest. I couldn't stand up after 3 minutes, and I feel asleep in 7. The winners stats were 4 minutes and 9 minutes, but he fell asleep in the closet. You could do an 8-ball and have Megan Fox naked in your bed and an Ambien will still win.

Either way, I didn't like Tiger because I thought he was a great man, I loved Tiger because when he is playing in a Major, I am glued to the TV for 4 days waiting to see a ridiculous charge to destroy the field. It will be interesting to see how this effects his golf game. Also people who think his career is over need to remember Mike Vick and Kobe Bryant. Almost every athlete cheats on his wife. It is horrible to say, but it is pretty much true. Not every athlete has been charged with rape or went to prison for having a dog fighting ring in his backyard.

- I spent 5 minutes trying to figure out whether to use "who" or "whom" in the above paragraph, and I still don't think I did it right. Shouldn't words like this just be removed from the language?
There are only 7 people on the planet now who/whom know how to use this correctly.

- Just watched the new Scrubs. I gotta admit I like not having Carla or Elliot on the show, but I'm not sold on the whole med school story arc. ABC was really smart because they kept the name, but basically gave 3 of the best 5 characters a spin-off. If Dr. Kelso and the Janitor were on the show it would be perfect. Also how pissed is ABC that they cut out the Indian guy last year, and now he is the best part of Parks and Recreation. Here is Aziz on Letterman:




- As some of you know, train etiquette is one of my biggest pet peeves. I have finally found something that I find hilarious when I ride the train, and I'm sure some of you do this. I was standing next to a guy who was listening to his Ipod too loud. The funny part was that he was nodding his head to Kelly Clarkson's "Since you've been gone". It is awesome because people feel that when they have headphones on, they have some privacy. Nope, if you are not careful, everyone within a 5 foot radius of you will find out that you have the same music interest as a 24 year old single white girl.

- The new greatest show on TV is Jersey Shore on MTV. It is amazing!! Take every crazy Real World character, give them a terrible haircut, a Puerto Rican tan, and add 20-50 pounds and you have these nut jobs! Every week I can pretty much promise you that you will see somebody get punched in the face, some slutty girl getting naked in a hot tub, and at least one memorable quote. If you have time to waste on a Sunday afternoon, I suggest that you Tivo this show so you can watch it, you will not be disappointed. Watch it and tell me that "The Situation" will not go down in history as one of the Top 5 reality TV stars, and also one of the Top 5 nicknames in history. No one goes by their real name, its like watching an And 1 mixtape, but they replaced the basketball with competitive drinking and douchebagery. I want to come up with a scoring system for these shows. The stats could be blackouts, times getting punched, times getting slapped, Attempts at cheating on your girlfriend/boyfriend who is at home, times cheated, and then of course you will have a completion percentage. Getting blackout drunk then getting into a fight and getting arrested would be a reality show Triple Double. We could be on to something here.

- I'm pretty sure as soon as Jeff Jordan hit a 3 against Vandy last night, I saw Alex Legion walk over to Bruce Weber and tell him that he wants to transfer again. I have tried to think of every scenario possible where Legion could get Jordan's minutes. I will agree that Jeff played well on Tuesday, but I can't stand watching him on the floor, and I really want Alex to produce. Legion needs to drag DJ to the gym as much as possible to work on DJ's ball-handling so that Jordan doesn't have to be on the floor when Demitri sits. I was told that when Demitri was on the floor against Clemson, Illinois was +24, when Jordan was running the point, Illinois was -27. Not sure about those numbers, so maybe I will watch that game for a 7th time to get my own +/-.

- I don't think I will ever stop screaming "NO!!!!!!!" every time Keller jacks a 3, even though he usually buries it. After watching him nail 3's for 40 games now, I still doubt that their is one Illinois fan who feels comfortable when Keller shoots. His jump shot is like an unfolded lawn chair. That was for you Josh.

- In the last 4 months, I have watched "The Proposal", and "Definetly, Maybe", and I have come to the conclusion that I can watch any movie that Ryan Reynolds is in. Was either movie great? Not at all, but this is a great way to watch a chick flick with your significant other, and still get some enjoyment out of it. As long as Ryan makes one of these movies a year, you can buy yourself one amazing guys night out by suggesting a date night with your lady and seeing one of his movies. They will be so grateful that you want to take them to see a Sandra Bullock movie, they will look the other way when you stumble home drunk at 5:30 in the morning after spending all of your money at a "ballet" school.

- Why is there the unwritten rule that you have to be impartial on press row? Is it because the tickets are free? If you cover a team, and are also a fan, why does it matter that you are cheering for them? There are 2 types of writers that are good when it comes to sports; the ones that just give you the facts, and the ones that are passionate about the team they are writing about. Both are necessacry now in sports reporting, so why do the passionate ones have to adhere to the rules of the objective ones?

- I feel like the Orange Krush needs to have a coach. They need someone to show them old film of how the Krush was during the late 90's through the Final Four season. Now, it seems like all they do is bounce up and down during a few defensive possesions, and put their arms up when the offense shoots a 3. Krush members need to leave games exhausted. I want to see an amazing showing when ESPN Gameday comes to Champaign for the Michigan State game. Also if they don't boo the shit out of Digger Phelps, I will disown them, plain and simple. The Orange Krush needs to spend their Christmas break coming up with clever signs to hold up behind Digger and Hubert Davis that bash the shit out of them.